It is my understanding that arranged marriages are common place in many eastern religions. I know that many of my Hindu and Islamic friends have had arranged marriages (with varying degrees of success!) and I wondered what you guys thought about it...

Also, one of my Hindu friends told me, that his family had to pay a Dowry for his wife. Thats when they exchange land right or cash or something.

That was what originally started off my thinking of marriage as a contractual exchange of women as a form of property. Think about it, you pay for the woman to be 'released' then (in western marriage ceremony at least) the bride is 'given away' on her wedding day by her father and then she signs a contract to say she will stay with this new man forever.

Sounds a bit like slavery to me!

True. I hate it! My suriname friend have their parents wanting to do the same. And they're about 16-17!

Nazir98 wrote:

True. I hate it! My suriname friend have their parents wanting to do the same. And they're about 16-17!

Hate is a bit strong.

I can see the benefits if you know from child hood who you are going to marry, you could form a real close friendship before moving it on the next level.

I suppose conversely if your an adult it would save you much of the stress and hulabaloo we go through in the west to attract a mate. I mean Jesus christ thats hard work. If you could leave it up to your parents to sort out then that would be much easier.

Mine is an arranged marriage:) and i absolutely madly crazily love my husband . He means the world to me. Dowry is demanded by the boy's family ( in my case no one demanded anything).
The perspective regarding this varies a lot and things have started to change regarding dowry.
Arrange marriages have more success rate than love marriages all across the globe

spiritualwarrior25 wrote:

Arrange marriages have more success rate than love marriages all across the globe

I can believe this. Although I wonder if thats because of social stigma around divorce in the countries, cultures and communities which practice arranged marriages.

I have no problem with them so long as there is a 'no' option and my understanding is that this is usually the case, that the people involved still have to agree to any potential partner.

Forced marriages on the other hand are another thing entirely and I'm sure we would all agree that those are wrong. (I suspect thats what Nazir was thinking about). I don't agree with anything which impinges a persons rights to freedom of choice.

Forced marriages are a different thing and are considered to come under criminal act too. Even a one sided romance or a unsuccessful affair can also lead to a forced marriage. One should never snatch someone's right to freedom in any circumstance

Said it yourself Mark and spiritualwarrior25. I hate the idea in any type of way.

O.o only billionaire 's children got arranged marriage here in morden china. well i believe that ia very popular things in ancient china. Love is a difficult things for most of the ppl to understand it. through 3    bfs, I starting to understand what i want and what love is . and yeah I don't like being controlled by anyone. my marriage , my life , should be controlling by myself. so far i got arranged dates for few time..I treated those dates like jokes!

Nazir98 wrote:

Said it yourself Mark and spiritualwarrior25. I hate the idea in any type of way.

waving my hands and "wink wink" hahah

Marriage according to me wether arranged or love is a sacred ceremony. The main point of emphasis for me is that both the partners and their parents should agree. One should never hurt ones parents...never ever. Call me orthodox or wateva! On this but, I emphasis on taking and considering their opinions too

Yes. But if it's arranged, your family don't care if you agree or not. Just do so or else something will be done. So there's less true love in arranged marriages. I've heard only a few stories on arranged relationships lasting long and happy. Some people(especially women) commit suicide before the day of marriage. This is heard a lot from India.

Respect parents and take thier suggestions are mature action but marriage should decided by ourself. It's u to sleep with someone , it's u!to eat with someone, it's u to live with someone 24/7. So the someone should be the one u love and compatible. No one knows how u feel, only urself, so u should make ur own decision choose ur own way. our authorityof choose (free will ) such as a gift from god .

essalove wrote:

Respect parents and take thier suggestions are mature action but marriage should decided by ourself.  It's u to sleep with someone , it's u!to eat with someone, it's u  to live with someone 24/7. So the someone should be the one u love and compatible. No one knows how u feel, only urself, so u should make ur own decision choose ur own way. our authorityof choose (free will ) such as a gift from god .

  

Oh god!. Its not like u r forced to do it. Forced marriages i have already explained earlier. In arrange marriages u r asked to meet the boy/girl , then if both want to meet again for sometime to get to know each other better they do so and then after say a few months if both wants to get married they get married else not. The right and the decision to marry the person is yours and yours only. I was just asked to meet the guy, I liked him a lot , we dated for 6 months and then we got married...and im happy with him

Suicide cases happen in case of forced marriages. Being forced to marry is entirely different from arranged marriages. I come from a modern family not ancient family and i wasnt forced. FORCED MARRIAGES ARE A DIFFERENTconcept. The final decision rests with us and not our families. So please dont misinterpret arrange marriages with forced marriages. Cases of forced marriages are obviously not covered by international media. This creates a very bad image of indian culture in foreign countries. Well, its not so.

Nazir98 wrote:

Yes. But if it's arranged, your family don't care if you agree or not. Just do so or else something will be done. So there's less true love in arranged marriages. I've heard only a few stories on arranged relationships lasting long and happy. Some people(especially women) commit suicide before the day of marriage. This is heard a lot from India.

Woah woah, back the truck up brother!

Arranged marriage and forced marriage is not the same thing. We've all condemned forced marriages here. Think of arranged marriage is just your parents setting you up on dates. You go and visit the person and if you like them you get married, if not you don't.

Thanku Mark! Ive been trying to explain the same thing.

How about Romeo and Juliet?
Non-forced marriages... and they both suicide...

superbabilon wrote:

How about Romeo and Juliet?
Non-forced marriages... and they both suicide...

Juliet was 13 years old. They fail to mention that when pitching it as the greatest love story ever told.

spiritualwarrior25 wrote:

Oh god!. Its not like u r forced to do it. Forced marriages i have already explained earlier. In arrange marriages u r asked to meet the boy/girl  , then if both want to meet again for sometime to get to know each other better they do so and then after say a few months if both wants to get married they get married else not. The right and the decision to marry the person is yours and yours only. I was just asked to meet the guy, I liked him a lot , we dated for 6 months and then we got married...and im happy with him

oh！i see ! sorry for didnt clear the situation. thats sounds sweet dear! i wish u the best luck and happiness you will be a great mom !

Haha thanks for that essalove I hope my kids also thinks i.e. when i have kids.

I could never do the whole arranged marriage thing. Nothing against it, but it's just not for me. :/

I am a true love guy myself.